you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize