i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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