I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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