we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
