I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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