just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
