Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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