Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
