Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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