Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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