How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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