you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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