3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
