it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
