Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
