glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
