hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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