im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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