do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
