Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The best revenge is premature balding
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
