Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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