its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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