so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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