dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
