just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
