I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
