sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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