I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
