it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
