Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
