New low: just hacked my moms facebook
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
