Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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