Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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