I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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