is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
