That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
