How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
