when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
