# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
