Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
