i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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