Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
