I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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