the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
