I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
