Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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