her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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