Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
