we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
