garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Send help, water and tortillas.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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