If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
