i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
