Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
