i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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