Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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