i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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