Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize