We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
