I seem to have left my pride at pride
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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