What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
