I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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