a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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