Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
