There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
