now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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