That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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