I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
