please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
