The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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