On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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